O.K…, I’m gonna describe my latest trip to the Great Big Home & Garden Show, but first there’s this snippet from ?The Week?, one of my news magazines, (actually, there are often some neat snippets in there on all sorts of topics…but I digress…as usual) that I thought was a hoot. Think that I saw it somewhere else too.
Anyway, it’s about a British zoo–The Helmsley Conservation Center–that will be offering a unique service to its patrons and others, for a small fee ($2), the opportunity to name a cockroach after their worthless “ex”, whose name will be displayed outside the cockroach enclosure (poetic justice of a sort, right?). This is all aimed at being part of Valentine’s Day celebration. The zoo described the exercise as being “a civilized way to get back” at your personal miscreant. One commentator wondered if the zoo would have enough cockroaches. I think that I saw in another publication that the cockroaches would then be fed to some other creatures that enjoyed snacking on such stuff. Way to go! No hard feelings after that…Right?O.K., about the Great Big Home & Garden Show at the I-X Center
It was BIG, all right–sixteen aisles of stuff of all sorts. Every time that I go, I come about THAT close to buying dog biscuits (I don’t even have a dog; the cats would probably be in total rebellion if I were to even suggest such a thing. What would THAT be like?) just because they look so tasty from a distance–say, one aisle over. Some of them look like bones, of course, but some of them look like cookies–real healthy, whole wheat-y ones–or like muffins or pancakes, or whatever. I’m always disappointed that they’re intended for dogs. I do always go to Rito’s Bakery on the way out, just to assuage my disappointment…that ,and to pick up some lady locks and/or cannoli or some other pastry treats(I also get a kick out of the fact that they frequently misspell the names of their bakery items…which they have surely been making forever. Spelling aside, the stuff tastes good).
Other features that caught my attention included the rentable sanitary facilities named Porta Thrones; they even handed out refrigerator magnets with pictures on. Reminded me of another firm, a septic service, that handed out magnets showing a skunk holding a rose and the slogan, “We Want Your Stinkin’ Business.” Related, I guess, but in a totally different league was a firm promoting what they called “compost tea” for promoting lawn and garden growth. Something about dripping water through your pile of leaves and left-overs and such. Which would have been of no help at all growing the metal palms designed to make your poolside environment appear to be like unto a southern clime of some sort. One of them had a stuffed monkey dangling from one of the palm fronds; another had a coconut affixed to its upper reaches. Don’t know if these items could have stood up to what we’ve dealt with this season. If you have one, let me know. More to our speed would be the professional strength mud mats on display.
I did, I think, try out all of the different flavors of recliner/massage chairs. Makes a nice break between walking up and down those sixteen aisles. Had I more time to spend, I might’ve done the same in the various saunas, however, taking off one’s clothes to get the full effect there might have been frowned upon. The massage is a little less revealing. Could have, maybe, gone straight from the sauna to the SofTub portable spa, dripping all the way. Luckily, there were lots of vendors with towels and other linens in the neighborhood, eager to make a sale of genuine bamboo(…or silk..or cotton…or merino wool…or whatever)to dry a body off. I’ll have to think about this for next time. The Fuller Brush people are still alive and well; so is some company selling a miraculous iron/steamer, which I might have considered, if I ironed more than three times a year.
I always sign up for freebies and drawings, which I promptly forget about until the phone calls and mail advertising flyers start coming. HOWEVER, I did get a call from some company making custom golf carts, to verify that I am who I said I was when I signed up. The carts were a hoot, looking like vehicles from “the Flintstones” or transportation for a rabid Ohio State fan. I’ve no confidence that I won one of these but I have had fun thinking about what I would have one made up like. Maybe a Hummer?
Anyway, the Akron version of this whole extravaganza should be coming up soon, but I’m having second thoughts about attempting that again, since the state highway folks have wrought havoc upon the traffic situation down there. Don’t have to go there, actually, because I got my baby chick/peeps fix at the Cleveland affair. AND the Tractor Supply outposts are good for that. All sorts of critters are neat to see as long as you don’t have to clean up after them.
