Okay. Okay. I understand that the internet is a way for folks to make connections and get information and learn stuff but I seem to have been plugged in to some weird social media groups. In the first place, I have mentioned before that, apparently, somebody thinks that my real name is “Ivan” and that I am a guy with no life outside of the web. Or, alternatively, he’s got a pretty kinky lifestyle that’s looking for a few MORE kinks.
The invitations! The opportunities! The offers! The “F Bombs”! Phone numbers a-plenty! Bad language ! Measurements ! Secret formulas! These persons making these offers must not be able to drive in a car or live in a house with the windows closed because they’d get all steamed up and dripping; of course, that’s not all that would be dripping, if you get my drift. Various body parts are discussed at length (literally) and offered for inspection, so to speak, at any hour of the day or night. There’s a certain international flavor too, since the dating pool draws from a number of countries only a war zone away.
Somebody ought to warn the ASPCA about the treatment of cats…or words to that effect…in the invitations. Don’t these people ever have to go to work or do the dishes or anything normal? Poor “Ivan”must have to spend his time turning down offers of various levels of depravity. Or maybe he doesn’t turn the offers down. He may be having, as the saying goes. “A hot time in the old town tonight.” Haven’t seen him around anyplace lately, but you never know.
Oh, and the other thing…there sure are a bunch of nifty contests and prizes out there. Nothing to match the half million and blue Mercedes I was told that I had won, but interesting, all the same : a tool set, a vacation package. a Run-about vehicle, a shopping trip . Strangely enough, nobody was able to confirm any of these bonuses. TSC was especially adamant that I was not getting anything from them–not even some free birdseed, which is what I usually get there. Maybe “Ivan” already picked up the winnings.
