HA HA ! Ha Ha! ha ha…what?
I have always thought that my sense of humor was, at least, O.K. But I’m beginning to wonder about everybody else, especially in the public prints and commercially-produced correspondence, i.e., cards of various sorts. Whole bunches of TV commercials too, fail to make it to contact my funny bone. Ditto for a lot of the programming. Too many laugh...
Oddness Out There!!
Every so often something worth paying attention to pops up on my computer screen. This does NOT include the stuff in the SPAM folder from the vast number of outfits who seem to think that I am some dude named “Ivan” who can’t spell his own name; those people keep sending me info about “male enhancement”, directions to “new...
Right!!
That’s my response to a communication from, of all people, the Porch Kitty Fan Club. In the lovely Christmas card was a quotation–you know the one about the power of the pen– and giving notice that a donation had been made to the Portage APL in memory of Barry Vancura. He would have loved it. So would his “Princess”,...
Final Bow
“Bow”…as in “leave the stage while acknowledging applause after an excellent performance.” Everybody knew Barry, Barry Vancura…and he knew everybody (If he did not, he’d continue talking until something or somebody clued him in as to who furnished the other side of the conversation, and went on from there--it was a gift.). Barry was the consummate retail guy. He knew...
‘Tis The Season
So… Didja get your entry in for the Name a Snowplow contest with the Ohio Turnpike commission? Some of the winners from last year were in the paper recently and I have to say they were pretty clever. This year’s contest ended Sunday, so we’ll have to wait and see what takes the $100 gift card prize–eight of them,...
Well That’s That
And “that” was the 20222 Christmas Walk…an adventure from start to finish, just about.First off, there was the withdrawal of one of the original four houses from the list of designated residences, which necessitated a search for another home in town with easy access and adequate parking possibilities. That search took up some planning time but at last a...
Well… That Was Fun
No, Really. I enjoyed myself immensely. Not everyone would enjoy having people–some known, some unknown–coming through their home for seven hours a day, looking around, commenting on everything in sight, wondering about what’s not in sight, asking questions about stuff that had been answered back when they hadn’t been listening. But I’m not everyone, and I had a fine...
Folly? Did Someone Say Folly?
Oh, “Fa La La La La !” you said. My bad…or worse, maybe. “Christmas is coming, the goose is getting fat, Please to put a penny in the old man’s hat.” Or more like it, at my place, “Christmas is coming. The Walk is on its way. There are way, way too many things for me to do today.” That’s...
Look!!! Up In The Sky!!!
Remember that one? “Look !!! Up in the sky !! It’s a bird! It’s a plane! “It’s Superman !!!” Nah, never mind, It’s not Superman, it’s a whole bunch of super people–The Fraternal Order of Eagles, to be exact. And what set me off on this tack was the sign out front of the local aerie ( That’s ornithologist talk for...
‘Fraid This Is IT
Ya got yer Full Hunter’s Moon. (The last big full moon was the Harvest Moon, you know, like as in–hum along, now, “Shine on, Shine on Harvest Moon, up in the sky. I ain’t had no lovin’ since January, February, June or July. Snow time ain’t no time to sit around and spoon, so Shine on, shine on, Harvest...
Cats Pajamas?
Well, not just yet. You won’t see the Porch Kitties in long johns real soon, but it won’t be for lack of their pointing out the inadequacy of their current accommodations. Everybody got displaced by the painting of the front porch, which necessitated the clearing-out of the miscellaneous items of furniture, food service and fol-de-rol of all sorts which had...
Vintage News James A. Garfield Historical Society
In 1886, Kitch Payne, a Nelson resident, who was a great sturdy fellow, honest and good-natured as the day is long, and well into his seventies, still loved to hear the old neighbors tell of his encounter with a burglar many years ago. Kitch was chopping out a farm for himself in the forest, when a store at Garrettsville,...
The Old Road…. Special People, Special Organization
There are a lot of special people in this community, unsung heroes that seem to go far out of their way for you and me. It might be helping you out in the garden, lending their expertise as master gardeners, or just serving you consistently and delightfully in a favored restaurant. Perhaps it’s the people in period costumes at...
Sing a Song of Sixpence
Sing a song of sixpencePocket full of ryeFour-and-twenty blackbirdsBaked in a pieWhen the pie was openedThe birds began to singWasn’t that a dainty dish to set before the king? Never mind the sixpence, the blackbirds, the pie or the king (They’re all from the 18th century or earlier…Shakespeare, maybe?), what I’m really promoting here is the “Sing” part. Once upon a...
We’ve Been Sentenced To…
Finally ! A national observance I can, as an educator, relate to. I mean, I can serve as a fine example on April Fool’s Day and all, but Bastille Day, Ember Day –any of them, Sadie Hawkins Day (I do miss Al Capp, though), Lammas Day, Cheeseburger Day, Spaghetti Day, Dress up Your Pet Day, Appreciate Law Enforcement Day,...
No Ferris Wheel For Me
But I did check out the rest –or most of–the Lorain County Wellington Fair. Did observe the big wheel but saw no hanky-panky (as reported last week) going on up there, so I got down to my prime reason for attending any of these festivities–eating! I always walk all, or almost all, of the midway to see if there...
All’s Fair In…Maybe Not
Well, it is “Fair Time”, and any number of things go on there, except…. I always try to get to at least one fair as Summer winds down–Portage, Geauga, Lorain, State, whatever. Each fair has something about it, a story of how it got to be what it is, when it is, all that. Portage, for instance, has the...
Down the Old Road…I Really Want An Antique Automobile
“I’ve been looking at, toying with, buying an old car, antique automobile, that I could take to cruise-ins, antique car shows, or just cruise around town in. They’re cool! Are they good investments? You have a couple of them. What really do they cost and how much does it take to maintain them?” This inquiry is something that I frequently...
A Few Good Men!
It’s not just for the Marines, ya know. The Masons have been seeking good men, here in Garrettsville and around the world, for quite some time now, and doing pretty well at it, as a matter of fact. The Masonic Lodge–the Free and Arch Masons, along with affiliated groups such as the Shriners and the Knights Templar, have been derived from...
Cancel The Obit!
Rumors of my demise have been wildly overwrought. For the few of you who missed the News of the World, Nightly News, and MSNBC special on current events–I have indeed been cruisin’ the ‘Ville accessorized with an arm sling, not to mention the accompanying blue language involved in getting the da- - -d thing on so that it can do...
Confidence Game Swindled Local Farmers
A man giving the name of Thomas Sexsmith appeared in the vicinity about a week ago, and being a good talker, he succeeded in getting several of our prominent farmers interested in a patent milk cooler. His plan of operation was to leave a cooler with the farmer, with the understanding that it was only left for exhibitions, not...
WWJD – Your Package Will Arrive Tomorrow
That may be true for now if you are a “Prime” member but I predict that soon a more costly “Prime +” will be available when Amazon no longer has the resources (workers) to deliver “RIGHT NOW”! This is only a prediction on my part; Amazon will extract a high price for that service but there will always be...
Dog Days
Well, there all sorts of stories about why this part of the year is sometimes referred to as the “Dog Days”, most of them having to do with Sirius, the Dog Star (part of the constellation Canis Major, not to be confused with Procyon, Canis minor, the Little Dog Star), the brightest star which we get to see on...
Alea jacta est
Or “Alea iacta est,”, if you are a Latin purist (I know you’re out there somewhere.). Mrs. Grissinger, my Latin teacher in 9th and 10th grades, probably wasn’t up on the latest translation/ third person singular/imperative and all that, or any other notions of what Suetonius said that Caesar said. Anyway, supposedly, this is what Julius Caesar said when...
No “Farmer In The Dell” Here
I’m thinkin’…. A rough estimate of the cost of the strawberries (2) that I have got so far, from the pots which I have planted this year alongside the house, is somewhere around $15.87, each. The plants themselves look fine—plenty of big green leaves, plenty of blossoms–however, the end result appears to be kind of paltry. No shortcake happening...
A.P.B. — All Points Bulletin
This is one happenin’ place, by gummy. The amazing rehabilitation/renovation/reconstruction/ remodeling of the eyesore on Maple Avenue is heading for the home stretch. It got stripped down to the studs, re-wired, re-plumbed, re-configured (moved purposes of some spaces), re-imagined altogether, to make it–once again–into a livable space. Insulation in the walls, drywall on the walls, addition of a side deck,...
Green Sleeves…and shoes…and gloves….
Time for the annual–more or less–horticultural–slash–porch kitty–slash–stuff going on–report. All of you waiting with “bated breath” can relax now. (What is this “bated”? Any relation to “rebate”, “debate”, “exacerbate”, “probate”, “abatement”, “incubate”, “reprobate”, ”intubate”? Huh? Well, there are some 20 playable words in Scrabble featuring that particular root, meaning : to lessen or lower; to deprive of. Or you...
Messages From Mother Nature: We’re Back!
Often in nature we talk about phenology, the annual cycle of events that occur year after year on an annual basis, bird migration is one of the most spectacular of these events. One of the best descriptors of migration has been defined by Keith Bildstein , a noted ornithologist. Migration- the seasonal, directed movements organisms undertake while traveling back...
And Another Thing…
I keep discovering (Not through Spring Cleaning–perish the thought) more stuff to put out on the Big Community Yard/Garage Sale coming up in May (as advertised on the electronic bulletin board downtown at the light). Tons-o-stuff stashed around here; some of it I vaguely remember acquiring, some of it, might as well have come from King Tut’s tomb or...
Bikes Away
Well, the eighth annual Road Apple Roubaix was a smash ! Anyone coming into town on Saturday could testify to the popularity of the event, just by observing the parking situation. The nearest comparison might be a really big night at SummerFest or the last big drawing of the long-running Queen of Hearts raffle. Cars, trucks, vans, SUV’s–any vehicle...
