A Pretty Fair Day
Have I got a deal for you! IBM (Irresponsible Bad Mamma) cat had kittens on the back step, in a specially-designated box—with lining and cover, and just as the little mites were beginning to open their little eyes, she hauled them off somewhere unknown and they were not seen or heard from again. End of story? Not on your tintype! I...
No “Farmer In The Dell” Here
I’m thinkin’…. A rough estimate of the cost of the strawberries (2) that I have got so far, from the pots which I have planted this year alongside the house, is somewhere around $15.87, each. The plants themselves look fine—plenty of big green leaves, plenty of blossoms–however, the end result appears to be kind of paltry. No shortcake happening...
Trying To Embrace The Dating Dot Coms Part 3 of a Series
Why do people get hooked up with on-line dating services like EEK-Grominy and Lighter Dot Com. Well, if you believe all the hype shown you in the 90 second TV commercials it is because you want to find the right partner, that special someone, someone to marry. Of course it is also possible that maybe you just want to...
A File In The Cake?
I’m sure that somebody is going to “rat me out” and tell the Portage Park District that I’ve been pulling up plants along the Headwaters Trail. Indeed, I have been doing exactly that but the evidence will show that what I’ve been pulling up is a vast number of invasive weeds known as Garlic Mustard. Actually, it’s kinda cute,...
Wild Hikes
Well, actually, it wasn’t all that wild but it definitely was interesting and fun. The Portage County Park District is offering opportunities to scope out some of the features of the newly-funded (THANK YOU, VOTERS)county parks with knowledgeable and entertaining volunteer naturalists (or one, at least, Thank you, Joe) to get a good look at just what’s out there. ...
It’s All About The Home
Welcome to “It’s all about the Home”. Please allow me to introduce myself. My name is Jane Ulmer and I am the co-owner of The Wayside Workshop in Aurora. The Wayside Workshop is our family business that my dad started in 1976 in Willoughby, Ohio. We spent about 6 years in Chardon before moving to Aurora Farms where we...
God Rest Ye
Well, rest is just what I’m looking for about now, lemme tell ya. I think that we’d be planning to petition somebody for an extra day in the week or an extra hour or two in the day, if we’re ever to get all of the stuff done that needs to be done. How about it? Who’s going to...
Seasons Greetings from the Villager
As the year winds down, we’re wrapping up our final issue of The Weekly Villager for 2024. It’s been a fantastic year bringing you the stories, news, and updates that matter most to our community. We want to thank you, our readers, for your continued support and engagement. A special thank you goes to our advertisers. Your continued support makes...
Gone, But NOT Forgotten
Gone, but not forgotten…that’s my Bob, a classic over-achiever. How he became afflicted with liver disease--he wasn’t much of a drinker—is still a mystery to me, but he did use up what were left of his nine lives trying to fight it off. Not that he wasn’t apt to milk any situation for all it was worth to get what...
Weekend Travels
Well, that train left the station without me aboard. I had been planning to take the Portage County Farm Tour but it turns out that it was held on Saturday instead of Sunday and my schedule was all wrapped around the Aurora Band show, Thunder Over Aurora, so it was a setback to open the Record on Sunday and see...
Out Like A Lamb?
Out like a lamb? Maybe a drippy-wet lamb. Maybe a lamb looking up at the occasional flurries and possible thunderstorms lurking in the wings next week. Baaaa! Enjoy it while you can. Quoting The Old Farmer’s Almanac here, “Showers often; the earth softens. Sunny and sweet. Watch out for sleet!” Sounds like Winter : Lite to me; a sunnier version...
The Return of Champ
“Home is the sailor, home from sea, and the hunter home from the hill.” With apologies to Robert Louis Stevenson, I believe that we can remove the sea from consideration in this case (Camp Creek down behind the back yard hardly qualifies as anything like “the bounding main.” It doesn’t even come up to the level of Lake Erie.),...
Two Mice and a Truck
Oh gosh Henrietta, something is going on in the barn again. The humans have opened up the barn doors, too much light, not used to all this light in this old barn. Get me my sunglasses! Sam, it’s that farmer guy lookin’ around in here. Oh boy, he’s brought two other humans in to look at our mobile home(decrepit...
O, Say Can You See….
Well, it may have been July 4th, but it definitely was a first in a lot of ways…just like what’s going on all over the place lately. How bizarre to have virtually no public displays of fireworks for Independence Day. The locals did try to take up the slack, I notice, as there were booms, bangs and flashes going...
Missing Brains…
I knew that I misplaced something. The Associated Press recently reported that nine—count ‘em, NINE—brains had been found alongside a railroad track near Gouverneur, northern New York state. Authorities said not to worry. Well, I won’t but it seems like there might be someone out there who is not ABLE to worry because the mechanism is missing. Anyway, the found objects...
Stupid Virus
So somebody on a slow news day—Newsweek was mentioned but the internet picked the mention up and ran with it—called it the “stupid virus” and implied that any lagging intellectual powers among us might be the fault of an insidious invasion by these viral marauders...
A Boardinghouse Reach?
The new boarder has apparently settled in...as if there were any question about that. She seems to have figured out the daily routine and grasps the fact that at certain times of the day, she can caterwaul as loudly as she likes, it still won’t get her whatever it is she wants. On the other hand, she’s terminally cute...
The Unappreciated….Mosses and Lichens
I know several people who work tirelessly in the background doing all the hard and dirty work, making sure the day to day activities get done, and keeping things running; but NEVER GET THE CREDIT! Never get a ‘that a boy” or “great job”. This is the case with two members of the plant kingdom, mosses and lichens. This...
Why is a new ship christened with a bottle of champagne?
The caller on phone line number two wanted to know, “Why is a new ship christened with a bottle of champagne?” This is one of those practices that the Newton Falls Public Library staff is aware of, but never really thought of the reason behind it. Page 791 of Popular Beliefs and Superstitions: a compendium of American folklore: from the...
May Flowers? No Pilgrims In Sight
Not a lot of sunshine either, lately. And did you celebrate May Day? You missed marking the halfway point between Spring (Vernal Equinox) and Summer ( Summer Solstice). Used to be a fairly common excuse to celebrate something–anything– after a long winter, I suppose. There were May Poles, and May Dances, especially on womens’ colleges back in the day, folks...
Mantua’s Stonehenge
Our story begins in 1914 when a new school building was built in Mantua, Ohio. Designed by a world-famous architect to new fireproof standards it is one of the very few examples left in existence—a true Stonehenge of sorts. Life went merrily on as usual for the next 90 years until 2004 when the school system, faced with state requirements consolidated all their holdings and created one new central elementary school. What to do with this magnificent old building? Why, offer it to the Township government for a ridiculously cheap price. They could certainly make good use of it since their current buildings are meager, not in the best condition and God forbid, made of matchstick wood (easily flammable)... Let us continue our transition into modernity.
The hinges of where now?!
H-E-double toothpicks, you say? Wowzah! I guess so. My car temperature reading was 92. My house all-purpose thermometer (date, time, indoor/outdoor air pressure, humidity) showed that I was escaping from 93 degrees outside and lolling about in just 77 measly degrees–the air conditioning was set at the recommended 78 degrees to avoid overtaxing the cooling system and costing me beaucoup bucks...
The Big Fandango
So here I am at the BIG FANDANGO at the Longaberger Basket Outlet Store at Aurora Premium Outlets and I’m making a basket…me, Little Miss Craftperson, whose biggest venture into crafts was probably when I used to make molds out of modeling clay and pour plaster-of-paris horse heads, later hand-painted, as gift items for favored individuals (Mom still has...
Time Flies
My, how Time flies! Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana. So, if the line above is an example of a “garden path sentence” or syntactic ambiguity or a pun, a double entendre or an antanaclasis—well, it would be, wouldn’t it—possibly by that great linguist, Groucho Marx, these recent weeks have been an example of pandemonium! (from the...
The Amazing Woodpecker
One of the most common birds that are seen at the feeders during the winter in Northeast Ohio are woodpeckers. Ohio is home to seven species of woodpeckers, the Downy being the most common. The largest is the Pileated with a wingspan of almost 30 inches. The most majestic, in my mind, is the Red-headed. All seven species are...
The Muse Is Angered
Well, I just hate it when electrical things get weird and I have to do something about the situation without having a CLUE as to how to approach the problem. So, I go to start writing another of my pieces of deathless prose for inclusion in The Weekly Villager ( This is something that I do on a regular basis...
Red Letter Day
A RED-LETTER DAY Or a red something, anyway. As I have said before, you can’t make this stuff up. It seems that in Sheboygan, WI a group of brewers has got together to raise money for charity by being featured—mostly in the buff—posing in a calendar which will be sold online or at numerous bars, liquor stores and groceries in Wisconsin...
Caution ~ Auction!
The Kiko folks have taken to putting up signs of this nature along roads where one of their commercial activities is going on, and with good reason. These secondary highways are plenty full of just plain drivers, let alone the avid auction-goers looking for a place to park--without sliding into a ditch or quicksand (as I found to my...
Election Red, White and Blues
Can we please have a rest until closer to November? Good Grief! It got so that I was seriously thinking of just letting the phone ring--I never do that--until the machine picked up or the caller got tired--no caller I.D. here, Chatty Kathy, no screening of calls. In the end, I did not do that; I’m always worried that I...
1031 Exchanges: Deferring Gains on the Sale of Real Property
For investors who seek to defer capital gains on the sale of investment property, one complex yet effective option is a 1031 exchange (also known as a Starker exchange). Named after Section 1031 of the Internal Revenue Code, 1031 exchanges became more popular and accessible after a key ruling by the IRS in 2002, which for the first time allowed...
