Shoo Fly: Black Fly Season In Ohio
With spring finally here it is time to open the windows, air out the house, go outside, and enjoy the sunshine and fresh air. Take a trip out into the woodland or park to look for wildflowers and watch the warblers and other colorful birds that are flying north to their breeding grounds. But all of a sudden….ouch. What...
It Must Be Spring!
Must be Spring, the litterbugs are out in their cars—at least I assume they’re not the type to be out walking to enjoy the benefits of nature—and they’re pitching trash out of the windows of said vehicles. I picked up, I think it was, six cans on my way around the village in the morning. ( This is all...
Odder Still…
The computer has forced me to type this piece over again after it deleted everything except the date, August 31. I don’t know if I insulted it or what. Maybe it’s been keeping track of the things which I have been saying about it--all true! There was a Dilbert cartoon the other day that might fit : Office worker...
Green Stuff
Green things are appearing here and there about the estate. Except for the crocuses--or is it croci, plural, you know--most of these items are a mystery to me. No, I lied; I recognize the snowdrops too. Pity they had to bring snow along as well. This green outburst is certainly welcome, after I spent time last fall poking bulbs...
Follow the Signs: Part II
We are in the bizarre Disneyland of extraordinary peculiarity with the expressed purpose of buying a Model “A” Ford that was acquired by collector John Smith in 2015. Mr. Smith was a collector extraordinaire of unusual things including, but not limited to, antique cars. His homestead displays his penchant for highway advertising signs which are plastered all over the...
It’s All About The Home
Today I had a customer in the store looking at bar stools. Before we could get to the fun stuff like style and color, we had a few “technical” issues to iron out. Issues like what size and how many were going to fit at her kitchen island. It was at this point that I realized I could turn...
Messages From Mother Nature: We’re Back!
Often in nature we talk about phenology, the annual cycle of events that occur year after year on an annual basis, bird migration is one of the most spectacular of these events. One of the best descriptors of migration has been defined by Keith Bildstein , a noted ornithologist. Migration- the seasonal, directed movements organisms undertake while traveling back...
Feathers, Fowl, and Finances: The Increasing Toll of Yuletide Celebrations
In a surprising turn of events, it appears that the cost of procuring the items featured in the classic holiday tune, "The Twelve Days of Christmas," has experienced a notable increase of approximately 4.8%. At the forefront of this upward trend are the turtle doves, ostensibly due to their relative rarity. When was the last time one encountered such...
Vegan Bar-B-Que
Once, many years ago, I ran across a book with the title, Hollywood Is A Kosher Nutburger. I think that I read it but who knows. At any rate, it struck me that it was a fine shorthand for “This place is nuts!” Well, the news lately—internet, the comics, the news pages, magazines—all of it, is proof that while time...
Horticulture Hotspot!
Well, if it ever rains again….. What’s up with this weather? Every day, just about, the weather guru’s keep saying that there “may be scattered showers, with a chance of thunderstorms”...” isolated rain showers and T-storms”...”possible T-storms with hail or heavy rainfall”. And what have we been getting? Zip. Zero. Nada. Which is about what I am getting on the...
After The Flood
We think that the second dove has not returned to the boat (Genesis 8:6-14) so we might be able to begin thinking about returning to what passes for normal around here.Normal is a pretty flexible term. It included the annual academic awards program, recognizing just rafts of outstanding individuals, many of the usual suspects who’ve been raising the bar...
“I really enjoy audio books, but my CD player broke. I would like to try something other than a CD one. Is there another portable way to listen to...
Our caller said, “I really enjoy audio books, but my CD player broke. I would like to try something other than a CD one. Is there another portable way to listen to books?” Many members of the Newton Falls Public Library staff also enjoy listening to works by their favorite authors while driving or doing chores. Many of us listen...
Citizens Awaken!
It’s that time again – Ohio’s primary voting is scheduled for March 19 this year, so mark your calendars. Ensure your driver’s license is valid, as state-issued identification is now a requirement; electric bills or bank statements won’t suffice. Speaking of state-issued documents, a friendly policeman in Streetsboro alerted me to the expiration of my license plates by approximately...
Urgent!
Well, now, THERE was a week! Elections on Tuesday. It was heartening to see that our precinct (Garrettsville A) was up over the prediction of the Board of Elections, not much, but every little bit helps. I think that Garrettsville B was over too but I didn’t check. It’s also neat to see so many former students whom I exhorted...
“Can you help me? I got a Christmas card, I can’t read the signature, and I don’t recognize the return address…”
The lady on the phone asked, “Can you help me? I got a Christmas card, I can’t read the signature, and I don’t recognize the return address. I tore off the label and my dog ate it. All I can remember was her first name was Ruth, and she lived on Clinton Avenue in Paddle, Oklahoma. It’s driving...
Der Tag…the Day is upon us!
It’s beginning to look a lot like....O.K., who left the Clint Eastwood glam pin-ups on the fridge? Get them down right now and put them with the Chuck Klamer voodoo figurine...the one with the pins in it. Put a red bow on the top; it’ll work. Yes, Virginia, there IS a Christmas Walk and it’s coming this way. NOW! The outside...
Mantua’s Stonehenge
Our story begins in 1914 when a new school building was built in Mantua, Ohio. Designed by a world-famous architect to new fireproof standards it is one of the very few examples left in existence—a true Stonehenge of sorts. Life went merrily on as usual for the next 90 years until 2004 when the school system, faced with state requirements consolidated all their holdings and created one new central elementary school. What to do with this magnificent old building? Why, offer it to the Township government for a ridiculously cheap price. They could certainly make good use of it since their current buildings are meager, not in the best condition and God forbid, made of matchstick wood (easily flammable)... Let us continue our transition into modernity.
Out Like A Lamb?
Out like a lamb? Maybe a drippy-wet lamb. Maybe a lamb looking up at the occasional flurries and possible thunderstorms lurking in the wings next week. Baaaa! Enjoy it while you can. Quoting The Old Farmer’s Almanac here, “Showers often; the earth softens. Sunny and sweet. Watch out for sleet!” Sounds like Winter : Lite to me; a sunnier version...
Back in the Saddle
“Back in the Saddle Again…Out where a friend is a friend…Where the longhorn cattle feed on the lowly Jimson weed…We’re back in the saddle again….” (Was that Gene Autry?. Gene had a sidekick named Pat Butram, I think, who always says said his name so that it sounded more like “artery”. Made him sound like a medical condition. I...
Notes From The Vineyard
It’s been a good year, actually, let me rephrase that – it’s been a GREAT year! Sure, this year has definitely put up a good fight for us... we’ve survived some bad economic times, we’ve dealt with a loss of crop from a late freeze last year, we’ve dealt with losses of loved ones this year but as I...
Latest Unlikely News
Ya know, you can’t make this stuff up.... The news is rife with absolutely amazing little bits—factoids, we might call them—about what’s going on “out there”, and I don’t mean outer space. Doesn’t take much more than a skimming of the news to find a fine selection of nutballs running around in front of God and everybody and coming...
Sunshine Laws…
Since the election season has just passed, more attention than usual may be focused upon our government. In Ohio, our state and local governments are an “open book” and the business of each governmental board is open to the public. You may have heard references to the “sunshine laws.” This generally refers to the statutory requirements that government...
Follow the Signs: Part III
This is part three of the story about running down a Model “A” Ford lead and purchasing the car. Jerry and I most often look for hobby cars that were never finished or cars that have sat in the garage for years and years, forgotten until a new owner or relative comes on the scene and wants to clean things...
Like A Frog Trying To Ride A Bicycle
“Hey Dad, why don’t you think about taking some courses at Kent State. You are a senior citizen so you could take them free. You would meet some people and you might just like it.” So said my daughter Carrie who is also a Professor at Kent. Yeah, but I’ll be far older than anyone else in that classroom,...
Time Flies
My, how Time flies! Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana. So, if the line above is an example of a “garden path sentence” or syntactic ambiguity or a pun, a double entendre or an antanaclasis—well, it would be, wouldn’t it—possibly by that great linguist, Groucho Marx, these recent weeks have been an example of pandemonium! (from the...
You Can’t Make This Stuff Up
“Imagine looking professional but feeling like you’re wearing pajamas.”
A Rash of Trash
Spring having sprung and all that, could I comment upon the sad indication that numerous persons hereabouts in the area are taking the opportunity to come down with a bad case of illiteracy? I am referring to the piles of stuff—junk would be a more accurate description but I’m attempting to be kind—that are appearing outside the various...
How do I get on these lists?
How do I get on these lists? Bad enough that I get pleas from every animal rescue organization on the planet--puppies, kittens, polar bears, horses, donkeys, whales, big cats, farm animals, exotic animals (I tend to hope that abusers, traffickers and slaughterers will all fry in hell), you name ‘em. I also get tree-hugger stuff--parks, water, trees, natural resources, pollution...
The Quill Pig
The porcupine, the second largest rodent in North America, is by far the prickliest. Its Latin name means “quill pig.” There are about two dozen porcupine species worldwide, and all boast a coat of needle-like quills to give predators a sharp reminder that this animal is no easy meal. Some quills, like those of Africa’s crested porcupine, are nearly...
In Transit
June 5, 2012. LOOK! Up in the sky! Nah. It was not Superman. He’s out making movies with the other Superheroes. It was the transit of Venus…and don’t think that if you missed it last week, you’ll just see it the next time. Because of the way that Venus and the Earth orbit around the sun--not in the same plane but...
