In addition…
In addition to pareidolia, I occasionally suffer(if that’s the right word) from bouts of mondegreen; I don’t think that it’s covered by any reputable insurance(though it’s likely on the docket for some fly-by-night, blood-sucking outfit from the late-night TV)but it can be sort of debilitating when you’ve got it. Pareidolia, as you must recall, is usually seeing significant images in totally random contexts, like the guy down in Louisiana who cut open an eggplant and beheld the word “God” spelled out in seeds. Elvis and the Virgin Mary are apt to turn up anywhere, from a toasted cheese sandwich to pictures in mildew on old walls.
Back in the Saddle
“Back in the Saddle Again…Out where a friend is a friend…Where the longhorn cattle feed on the lowly Jimson weed…We’re back in the saddle again….” (Was that Gene Autry?. Gene had a sidekick named Pat Butram, I think, who always says said his name so that it sounded more like “artery”. Made him sound like a medical condition. I...
A Quiet Week
Well, it’s been a quiet week in Little Garrettsville. (Lake Wobegone was another story) BUT…things are moving along. The paving over the “grooved pavement” is inching toward finished; there are lines and everything. Crews are on-site to take down the perennial eyesore downtown which has been “slip-slidin’ away” for –LO!—these many years. Haz-Mat suits and all, they seem to be doing...
Adventures in summer travel…or…You Can’t Get There From Here
You know those orange and white saw horses that the ODOT crews used to have marking off forbidden territory when the summer construction season started? (They have up-dated all that now with tall, skinny cones and plastic tape) An ironic gentleman of my acquaintance once proposed that they should be designated the state animal…probably because they spent even...
Excitement!!
Pretty generally, my cats are NOT about excitement. Mostly, they’re about conserving physical resources, i.e., lazing around, with as little movement as possible. Oh sure, there is the occasional wrestling match, when one of the “guys” has to show how tough he is(This is the same one who is afraid to go outside when the door is open; he...
Ahhhhh….. Spring!
If Jack-in-the-Pulpits are any indication, my yard is a veritable vegetation revival! Nothing in the bulletin tells what the message is. They’ve popped up in the front, the back, the side lawns. They’ve out hustled even the ferns. They’ve beaten the trilliums, hands down. Wonder what got into them all of a sudden. Maybe the ferocious cold that knocked...
Urgent!
Well, now, THERE was a week! Elections on Tuesday. It was heartening to see that our precinct (Garrettsville A) was up over the prediction of the Board of Elections, not much, but every little bit helps. I think that Garrettsville B was over too but I didn’t check. It’s also neat to see so many former students whom I exhorted...
Mad Medicine
Open your mouth and say , “Aaaah” Do physicians even DO that any more? Well, according to an item in the Akron Beacon-Journal, you should not hand over your money before the doc sticks anything in your mouth. That’s because some researchers at New York University have discovered an absolutely stunning collection of bacteria, viruses (Or viri? Nope, virus...
Vegan Bar-B-Que
Once, many years ago, I ran across a book with the title, Hollywood Is A Kosher Nutburger. I think that I read it but who knows. At any rate, it struck me that it was a fine shorthand for “This place is nuts!” Well, the news lately—internet, the comics, the news pages, magazines—all of it, is proof that while time...
O Spring
O.K., it’s Thursday, this must be springtime. Holy cow! What a wild one! Haul out the long johns, Maudie, the daffodils done froze! And what does the Old Farmer say? Not much. But you’ll be happy to know that on April 18, 2009, Aaron Caissie set a world record by balancing 17 spoons on his face. Now there is a...
Spoiler Alert
This is about the Portage County Park District, first in what will probably be a series of rants. Portage County DOES HAVE a park district. CATCH : Over 800 A of the land comprising the district are currently inaccessible because of a lack of funds. The budget has been severely cut, with the 2014 revenues projected to be only $99,500...
April Showers
April showers bring May flowers, eh? Somebody alert the providers of floral items. They’re either going to be left twiddling their thumbs because the general public is inundated by blooms of exotic sizes and descriptions springing up along every highway and by-way or their own backyards…or…there will be wholesalers of flowers lurking around corners trying to off-load cheap orchid and...
Out Like A Lamb?
Out like a lamb? Maybe a drippy-wet lamb. Maybe a lamb looking up at the occasional flurries and possible thunderstorms lurking in the wings next week. Baaaa! Enjoy it while you can. Quoting The Old Farmer’s Almanac here, “Showers often; the earth softens. Sunny and sweet. Watch out for sleet!” Sounds like Winter : Lite to me; a sunnier version...
Misguided Cats
Maplewood, beware! I’m thinking that the cats—at least some of them—need occupational/vocational counseling. One of the guys(It’s always the guys)apparently thinks that he is a watchcat, protecting us all from dangerous gray tiger cats out on the back porch. He pays no attention at all to the calico incipiently-maternal feline that appears on the front porch. When he spots this gray...
Gone…. GONE…. GONE!
The first department store in Portage County (Chic & Shabby/the Root Store)transformed into a source for home decorating with a distinctive touch…a craftsman fascinated by and devoted to clocks… a fledgling lawyer, an experienced attorney…the Barber of G-Ville…lawn and garden equipment gurus…a quilt shop drawing craft persons from all over the state and beyond…a podiatrist…an audiologist…a community food cupboard...
Oxford English Dictionary and then some
The Oxford English Dictionary has just come out with its quarterly revisions and additions. Some nine hundred new words and phrases have now been deemed worthy to grace its pages, some of them pretty far out there. How often do you wish to know the meaning of Empedoclean? ( Don’t go there. It’s about some Greek philosopher dude named...
The Old Farmer Says….
The Old Farmer says of the month of March (and I quote), “In like a sea lion, cold and wet with fishy breath. Rain to snow and snow to rain—di-si-do and back again! This month can’t be trusted; the hinge of spring has rusted.” Well, D’ya think? Good Grief! If it isn’t one thing, it’s another. The bit of doggerel above...
Whoa! Missed it Again!
Mardi Gras, that is. Fat Tuesday, the day before Ash Wednesday, beginning of the Lenten season. Carnavale, Carnival, Carnaval, Karneval, Faschtnact/Fasching…whatever your ethnic background, if there’s a shot of Catholic in there anywhere (or even if there’s no Catholicism but a lot of fun-lovers), you may be acquainted with Mardi Gras, one way or another. Some folk—like the ones in...
SANK
SANK! The word is SANK! The past tense of “sink” is “sank”…”sank”, not “sunk”. “Sunk” is the perfect tense, which is either being shamefully abused or ignored most of the time by people who ought to know better. If I have to listen to some talking head on a TV screen or hear a faux-authoritative voice on the radio...
Why are shamrocks considered lucky?
Various symbols and imagery breathe life into St. Patrick's Day celebrations. In addition to Kelly green clothing, leprechauns and Irish flags, shamrocks are commonly seen decorating homes and people. The word "shamrock" comes from the Irish seamrog, which is the diminutive form for the Irish word for clover, and translates roughly to "young clover." Clover is a grass-like plant, and...
Ragnarok
Well, here we go again. The Mayan “end of the world” didn’t pan out, so, now we can look forward to the Viking Apocalypse. It seems that in some enormously long poem in Norse mythology written in the 13th century by( Here’s a name to conjure with) Snorri Sturlson, the gods of just about everything and nothing have a whopper...
Spice of Life
Sometimes bon appetit, the 0h-so-upscale cooking magazine, is just too much. They just assume that everyone has access to—and a budget for—artisan cheeses and spirits, baby organic lettuces, at least four different varieties of milk…and we don’t mean simply whole, skim, 2% and buttermilk…oh no. You’re deprived unless the shelves boast the lactic fluid of cows, goats and maybe the...
Life, Art and Cookies
Recently, I heard an interview with a writer in Nebraska, who compared this winter’s polar vortex conditions to the ninth circle of hell mentioned in Dante’s “Inferno”. That reference brought to mind a quote by writer Oscar Wilde, who said, “Life imitates art far more than art imitates life.” Lately I’ve realized that this is not the case, at...
This is Getting OLD
Don’t you just every so often look out the window or open the door or read the weather forecast and feel like the little boy on the internet the other day? The little guy must have been about four years old, bundled up to a fare-thee-well in mittens, hat , snowsuit and he was out shoveling snow, clearing the...
Curses!!
Curse that groundhog! Well, it does depend on which groundhog you are going to believe. The storied Punxsutawney Phil, of Gobbler’s Knob, Pennsylvania, according to his “handler” (like a sports agent, I guess) interrupted his long winter’s nap, peered out of his burrow and predicted six more weeks of winter. This would NOT be hard to do, given our experiences...
File Under…
File under “Sorry we missed this one.” New Years celebrators in London this New Year’s Eve were treated to an interesting array of flavored fun-type festivity-promoters. Indeed! There was banana-flavored confetti, there were orange-scented bubbles, peach-flavored snow, for starters. Mercy! So who first checked out this stuff? Somebody just stuck out his/her tongue and lapped up a healthy (?)...
Here’s Your Chance!
Here’s your chance to investigate the Mpemba Effect. There’s a video of some Canadian dude on the internet performing this interesting experiment. He takes a hard plastic water gun (A Nerf weapon would probably not work; you’ll see why)sucks up boiling water into it (That’s why you use hard plastic) and squirts the water out into the air. The...
“How can I get my dog therapy-certified?”
Many of us here at the Newton Falls Public Library have seen therapy dogs at work, whether at hospitals, nursing homes, or even colleges. Therapy dogs are different from service dogs such as seeing-eye dogs and seizure-response dogs. While service dogs are specifically trained to assist a person with their documented disability, therapy dogs are pets with the training...
Isn’t technology wonderful?
Sports Illustrated reports that there is now a “Smart Sensor” basketball(94Fifty) full of God-only-knows what kind of sensors, nine of ‘em, complete with circuit board, battery pack and Bluetooth relay—don’t ask—which will do amazing things for your mastery of the game. These sensors are processing whatever it is that’s happening with the ball, at your direction, of course, and...
Makin’ A List…
Now that the clock tower lights are lit, Santa has made the first of his (many) local appearances…for lunch, for breakfast, for pizza, etc….it’s time to get down to some serious shopping—preferably local, but wandering off into the exotic every so often. So, in pursuit of exotica (Try looking that up on the internet some times; Sears & Roebuck ,...
