Feedback and Food For Thought
We are some six weeks into this topic of 65 and Single Again. I have gotten a great deal of feedback about the articles via e-mail, over the phone, and more often than not, in person. A great many people seem to identify with this predicament of life. The column mirrors their struggle and they are searching for solutions. As well, it has generated a good bit of thought on my part, re-thinking certain things, postulating new, and contemplating where to go next.
Red Letter Day
A RED-LETTER DAY Or a red something, anyway. As I have said before, you can’t make this stuff up. It seems that in Sheboygan, WI a group of brewers has got together to raise money for charity by being featured—mostly in the buff—posing in a calendar which will be sold online or at numerous bars, liquor stores and groceries in Wisconsin...
Trying To Embrace The Dating Dot Coms Part 5 of a Series
The Dating Dot Com phenomenon came on the scene in the 1990s and since then has developed exponentially into a massive industry. You can’t watch evening TV or pick up a popular magazine without encountering advertisements touting this or that dot com which all but guarantee that they will find the right person for you. Many of us, from...
Stupid Virus
So somebody on a slow news day—Newsweek was mentioned but the internet picked the mention up and ran with it—called it the “stupid virus” and implied that any lagging intellectual powers among us might be the fault of an insidious invasion by these viral marauders...
It’s A Failure!
A failure of Social Studies Education, I calls it. The recent election, that is…failure of turn-out, failure to understand the way government works(whether it’s supposed to work that way or not), failure to be informed on the issues and the candidates, failure to pay attention to the down-ticket contests…a whole bunch of things that we should all be thinking about but don’t. AND a prevailing, parsimonious attitude that makes a virtue of trying to do everything on the cheap. There’s a powerful big difference between wishing to do things in the most cost-conscious and efficient manner possible to do the best we can for the most citizens and trying to see how much we can get away with before the dreadful consequences which we have been outrunning finally catch up. The difference is the difference between “What’s the best we can afford?” and “What’s the cheapest we can get?” Strangely enough, there are cases in which quality actually does count.
Trying To Embrace The Dating Dot Coms Part 4 of a Series
How many times has it happened that I am notified that an attractive lady with a moniker such as NANNAN69 has just favorited me and would like to talk with me. The posted time is 7:15 PM. At 7:16 PM I respond and immediately a screen flashes that, “NANNAN69 is no longer available but here are 8 more people just like NANNAN69. Give them a response!” Now, tell me how, in 60 seconds, NANNAN got swept off her feet, married off and managed to get the Dot Com to take her out of contention when the rest of us can’t seem to even get the Dot Com to respond to us.
Take Up A New Hobby
So here’s the thing…. We need readers and scorekeepers for the Garfield QuizMasters to go out to vanquish our intellectual foes in upcoming Academic Challenge competitions. Do I see any volunteers? Really, the hardest part is getting up EARLY on a Saturday morning to go ride a bus to the designated venue for the tournaments. Of course, riding in a...
Trying To Embrace The Dating Dot Coms Part 3 of a Series
Why do people get hooked up with on-line dating services like EEK-Grominy and Lighter Dot Com. Well, if you believe all the hype shown you in the 90 second TV commercials it is because you want to find the right partner, that special someone, someone to marry. Of course it is also possible that maybe you just want to...
If It Isn’t One Thing…
If it isn’t one thing, it’s another. We’ve finally seen the end of the political ads (Do you ever get the feeling that the only reason we have elections is to find out if the polls were right?—Robert Orben). The signs should all be picked up until the next go-round and we can listen to the moans of the losers...
Trying To Embrace The Dating Dot Coms (Part 2 of a Series)
I got to know pretty much most of their customers by their pictures and crazily made up names like AnAn, Sexygurl, and Poosie Suzie which invariably were sent to me over and over and over again. I have trouble remembering names, except for one unfortunate, ill-chosen name –Msphyllis—(yes, I read and re-read that one several times to make sure that it wasn’t what I initially thought it was) but if I see a face once I remember it forever.
Welcome To The Lifeboat; Please Come Aboard
What do you do when, at 67 you find yourself single and alone again? The reasons for this often include, your mate passed away, or perhaps you and/or your mate decided to end a 1-40 year relationship for whatever reasons. At any rate you are now alone in the house, responsible for everything. Assuming that bereavement is an ongoing...
It’s Your Right … Exercise IT!
I’ve been serving as a poll worker for about seven years now and it always makes me proud to see a former student come in to cast a ballot; wish that I’d see even more of them. It used to be a regular thing in the seventh grade to take my classes down to the Precinct A polls on High Street to observe the voting; the poll workers were always helpful and welcoming and happy to explain the procedures to the kids. Pity we can’t do stuff like that anymore.
Plate City
Once upon a time, specific clerks dealt with specific operations and the issuer of license plates might be snowed under with people waiting and waiting, while the driver’s license clerk was able to sit at her leisure to examine the new nail color that she had chosen and tempers tended to shorten as the wait time lengthened. Well, that’s done with…and none too soon.
Weekend Travels
Well, that train left the station without me aboard. I had been planning to take the Portage County Farm Tour but it turns out that it was held on Saturday instead of Sunday and my schedule was all wrapped around the Aurora Band show, Thunder Over Aurora, so it was a setback to open the Record on Sunday and see...
You Can’t Make This Stuff Up
“Imagine looking professional but feeling like you’re wearing pajamas.”
Wild Hikes
Well, actually, it wasn’t all that wild but it definitely was interesting and fun. The Portage County Park District is offering opportunities to scope out some of the features of the newly-funded (THANK YOU, VOTERS)county parks with knowledgeable and entertaining volunteer naturalists (or one, at least, Thank you, Joe) to get a good look at just what’s out there. ...
SCORE !
Well , it’s not just about football, ya know. Or volleyball or baseball or cross country or golf or soccer or any of those sports where you get all sweaty. Much more refined than THAT. Specifically, it’s the Sinquefield Cup Chess Tournament. Held this last week in St. Louis, MO, the event saw a stunning performance by Fabiano Caruana, a...
Time Out!
Well…seasons have started…football season, soccer season, volleyball season, cross country season, interscholastic golf season (The regular duffers have been going at it all summer), marching band season…you name it, the season has started. School is like the opening gun for all sorts of stuff. There are, however, plenty of competitions out there which we “wot not of”. Such as: Amazon has just agreed to pony up a ton of money--$970 million—for some outfit called Twitch which makes it possible for video gamers to watch—just watch, not play themselves—other video gamers play…what else?...video games! This is causing great commotion in the online world for some reason and many of the big names—whatever they are, in the online gamers world are all a-buzz about it. I am not one of these people. Let us get this straight; people can get on their computers to watch other people play video games. Just what IS it that these watchers DO? They don’t have to even move their fingers, just barely their eyeballs. Do the actual players get any feedback on their play? Are there electronic/digital cheerleaders chanting algorithmic encouragement from the in-the-cloud sidelines? Any rain delays when a server goes down? The questions have only just begun to roll in.
NOT One Of My Better Weeks
Not one of my better weeks; suffice it to say that I’m now looking for a new car and not a rehab facility. That’s the good part. Time to move on. The rollercoaster begins again : school is starting! Whooeee! Anyone got an office/coffee klatsch/bowling league/civic group/ neighborhood betting pool going on whether the newly -added-on-to Garfield Elementary School will...
St. Fiacre
So…I’m thinking that my gardening endeavors are in need of divine intervention—for the fungus or whatever it is that’s devastating the hollyhocks and the tomatoes, the slugs and/or whatever is feasting on the berry bushes, the infant poison ivy that seems to be popping up all over the place, the ”sweet violets”, AKA Chameleon plants that are sending out their smelly but vigorous roots everywhere but in the “dead zone” where I’d like them to move in—and I was reading a murder mystery involving a public garden with a statue of a holy fellow called St. Fiacre(Irish--Fiachra, Latin—Fiachrius) patron saint of gardeners (…and maybe cab drivers…who knew?). Why not give him a shot?
In addition…
In addition to pareidolia, I occasionally suffer(if that’s the right word) from bouts of mondegreen; I don’t think that it’s covered by any reputable insurance(though it’s likely on the docket for some fly-by-night, blood-sucking outfit from the late-night TV)but it can be sort of debilitating when you’ve got it. Pareidolia, as you must recall, is usually seeing significant images in totally random contexts, like the guy down in Louisiana who cut open an eggplant and beheld the word “God” spelled out in seeds. Elvis and the Virgin Mary are apt to turn up anywhere, from a toasted cheese sandwich to pictures in mildew on old walls.
Back in the Saddle
“Back in the Saddle Again…Out where a friend is a friend…Where the longhorn cattle feed on the lowly Jimson weed…We’re back in the saddle again….” (Was that Gene Autry?. Gene had a sidekick named Pat Butram, I think, who always says said his name so that it sounded more like “artery”. Made him sound like a medical condition. I...
A Quiet Week
Well, it’s been a quiet week in Little Garrettsville. (Lake Wobegone was another story) BUT…things are moving along. The paving over the “grooved pavement” is inching toward finished; there are lines and everything. Crews are on-site to take down the perennial eyesore downtown which has been “slip-slidin’ away” for –LO!—these many years. Haz-Mat suits and all, they seem to be doing...
Adventures in summer travel…or…You Can’t Get There From Here
You know those orange and white saw horses that the ODOT crews used to have marking off forbidden territory when the summer construction season started? (They have up-dated all that now with tall, skinny cones and plastic tape) An ironic gentleman of my acquaintance once proposed that they should be designated the state animal…probably because they spent even...
Excitement!!
Pretty generally, my cats are NOT about excitement. Mostly, they’re about conserving physical resources, i.e., lazing around, with as little movement as possible. Oh sure, there is the occasional wrestling match, when one of the “guys” has to show how tough he is(This is the same one who is afraid to go outside when the door is open; he...
Ahhhhh….. Spring!
If Jack-in-the-Pulpits are any indication, my yard is a veritable vegetation revival! Nothing in the bulletin tells what the message is. They’ve popped up in the front, the back, the side lawns. They’ve out hustled even the ferns. They’ve beaten the trilliums, hands down. Wonder what got into them all of a sudden. Maybe the ferocious cold that knocked...
Urgent!
Well, now, THERE was a week! Elections on Tuesday. It was heartening to see that our precinct (Garrettsville A) was up over the prediction of the Board of Elections, not much, but every little bit helps. I think that Garrettsville B was over too but I didn’t check. It’s also neat to see so many former students whom I exhorted...
Mad Medicine
Open your mouth and say , “Aaaah” Do physicians even DO that any more? Well, according to an item in the Akron Beacon-Journal, you should not hand over your money before the doc sticks anything in your mouth. That’s because some researchers at New York University have discovered an absolutely stunning collection of bacteria, viruses (Or viri? Nope, virus...
Vegan Bar-B-Que
Once, many years ago, I ran across a book with the title, Hollywood Is A Kosher Nutburger. I think that I read it but who knows. At any rate, it struck me that it was a fine shorthand for “This place is nuts!” Well, the news lately—internet, the comics, the news pages, magazines—all of it, is proof that while time...
O Spring
O.K., it’s Thursday, this must be springtime. Holy cow! What a wild one! Haul out the long johns, Maudie, the daffodils done froze! And what does the Old Farmer say? Not much. But you’ll be happy to know that on April 18, 2009, Aaron Caissie set a world record by balancing 17 spoons on his face. Now there is a...
