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Tyme Machine Tickets Cheaper Than Air Fare

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Hear ye, hear ye! The Land of Avaloch awaits thee! Leave your 21st century cares at the gate and immerse yourself in the enticing 13th century where you may be escorted safely on your way by a brave knight, guided along the path with helpful whisperings of a friendly faerie, or jump onboard a pirate ship and take a swig from a pretend pint while singing songs of the sea with your mateys.“Don’t Travel Far, Travel in Tyme!” and be instantly transported to the storybook world of the romanticized Middle Ages, by way of The Great Lakes Medieval Faire, located just off the modern Rt. 534 in Geneva. Open each Saturday and Sunday until August 14th with a different theme for each weekend, the Faire opened by temporarily morphing visitors into their “better” selves to participate in the Alter Ego Time Travel Experience. Celebrate Christmas in July, medieval style, during the Medieval Christmas Yuletyde weekend (July 16th – 17th), dodge a dragon or two with Fun, Fire & Fantasy (July 23rd – 24th), don a favorite eye patch and lock up the lassies for the Pirates Invasion (July 30th – 31st), dig out your old schoolgirl kilt in honor of the Celtic Celebration (August 6th – 7th), or choose sides between the Barbarians vs. Romans (closing weekend, August 13th – 14th). Tickets for adults are $22 at the gate (buy in advance online and save a few dollars) and children are $6. Can’t decide on just one weekend to visit? Season passes are available at $50, valid for the remaining ten Faire days. Another option that lets you go more than once but won’t make you feel like you were hijacked by a caravan of gypsies is the weekend pass, to be used one consecutive Saturday and Sunday, available for just a few dollars more than your original gate ticket.Gates open at 11am with a welcome ceremony led by the royal family at 10:45. Once you are cordially invited into the forest, wander along the rambling paths and see what, or who, might enchant you. With stages set up throughout the forest, there are plenty of shows for every taste. Though some fan favorite acts from ages past did not return this year, there is still enough to keep guests busy for an entire day and then some! An ample offering of entertainment and artisans with their hand-crafted wares provide such a bounty to see and do it’s hard to know where to start. For the wee ones, take some time to frolic in Fairyland where kid-friendly crafts and “The Frog Prince” can be found. A word to the wise: not every show in the kingdom is for ears of all ages, so mind the ratings posted on parchment at each venue. Looking for good “clean” fun? Visit the Washing Well Wenches at the intersection of Fairy Dust Lane, Queen’s Road, and Washing Well Way, but be ready to loudly applaud your approval or else beware of the flying wet laundry!The main event of this season involves the classic story of Romeo and Juliet whose love is being torn apart by their families. Lady Capulet, the requisite evil stepmother of this fairytale, challenges the young, charismatic Romeo to battle it out in a live-combat game on the life-sized chess board. Will Romeo’s friends help him to win victory and Juliet’s hand? Or will the Capulet clan prove successful in keeping the star-crossed lovers separated for good? Will this tale end in tragedy just as the well-known story did? Or will the ending be rewritten to see love triumph all? You’ll just have to see it for yourself to find out! Bonus: the women in this realm aren’t about to let the men be the only ones who know how to wield a sword. Watch in amazement as the chess pieces come to life as handmaidens, seamstresses, a playwright, and even Lady Capulet herself show the men how it’s done!Whatever entertainment you have chosen to enjoy, or vendors you have visited, finish the day by heading over to the Drift Inn and join in the Pub Sing sanctioned by the King and Queen. Raise your flask, mug, glass, bottle, or jug in a toast of camaraderie to old friends and new, rest for those in the past and a safe journey for those ahead.Tips for when you go: Parking is free in the field by the main castle gates. Handicapped accessible parking is available.Pack a picnic to enjoy at your tailgate or if you want to dine with the dukes and duchesses you’ll need to exchange some green for the local currency, Avaloch notes. Once your pockets are filled with these “Purple Pounds” you can fill your senses and your stomach with a wide array of traditional medieval fare fit for a king, or sweets and treats fit for a queen. Non-alcoholic drinks are available at many different vendors and take note that several offer discounts if you buy a souvenir cup and have it refilled all day for a lower price. Piper’s Pub, for instance, sells an authentic-looking glass bottle that entitles the holder to $1 refills for life, and as a bonus it won’t clash with your garb!Though food and drink can only be bought with those purple-backed notes, many of the artisan booths do gladly accept the green or even “Lady Visa, Master Card, Lord Discover, and New World Express” as payment.You may bring a four-legged friend if desired, however they must be registered at the gate and are not permitted near the festival animals or up close to the stages, for the protection of your pet (read: flying swords) as well as for those performing.For detailed information or for directions, visit http://www.medievalfaire.com. Travelling by tyme machine does have its perks: It’s faster, the destination is so much cooler, and as an extra bonus, no luggage restrictions or TSA agents. See you in Avaloch!

Staff Reporter

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Anton Albert Photography