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Way TMI!!!

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A recent feature in the AB-J has indicated to me that I am on the “way to hell in a handbasket”, or, as the “Car Guys” and “Sports Illustrated” have said upon occasion, “a sign of the Apocalypse”. The title of the section is LIFE, the particular feature was : Your Decor, What does your bookshelf say about you? It goes on in the first paragraph, to say, “For interior design, books can convey style, personality, texture, color, interest, warmth, inspiration and vitality….” Wheeeww!

I looked around at my bookshelves and I’ll tell you what I saw–this took awhile, since I had to dust them first, so that I could actually see what was there…and there are quite a few of them–shelves, I mean (dust too, if you want to get technical)–and there are quite a few post-it notes stuck on the ones by the computer where I write stuff; I can’t even count the space over the mantel where the fireplace was (until it became a red carpet, so to speak, for bats wishing to check the place out as an airbnb location), since that is mostly covered with an exhibition of a selection of my quite varied display of wooden boxes. There are some beauties there, really.

Who else do you know with an antique wooden box that says, “Use yeast foam for Root Beer and other Beverages.”? The “Other Beverages” are not specified. Guess on your own. There is also a display of wooden organ pipes, from the renovation of the instrument at the Garrettsville United Methodist Church; wish I could have got more but there was not enough room. There is a collection of genuine, non-plastic tambourines and a small dulcimer, handmade from wood used in the Japanese pavilion at the Great Lakes Exhibition of 1933 (My cousin made it and that’s his tale of origin anyway). Also a small Swiss cowbell (miniature version of the three regular-size Swiss cowbells that my Brown Swiss cows and I won at the Lorain County Fair). Two lamps and some electric candles–one in a red glass candle holder given to me by a student who has gone on to even better things–complete the mantel shelf, but that’s only the beginning.

There are books; there are at least six Bibles(Got at least two from my grandma), Bible school materials and several unrelated tomes–one by Steve Martin & Roz Chast titled The Alphabet from A to Y with bonus letter Z, three by Sandra Boynton with CD’s included (Rhinoceros Tap, Dog Train, P hiladelphia Chickens and a book and CD called “GRUNT”– in Pig Latin, of course, on Pigorian Chant), a paperback with the delicious title of Wicked Women of Northeast Ohio. I think that your name was spelled right. Topped off by another paperback, Stop Dressing Your Six-Year-old like a Skank. Amen to that.

Right in that same neighborhood is a book that has served as inspiration for a Memorial Day talk or two. A book of stunning photography and expository text, it was produced by the National Geographic, made the New York Times best seller list and the title is from a poem by Thomas More; the title is Where Valor Rests. Look it up sometime…worth the effort.

Then, of course, there’s the bookshelf decor: Chinese thing-um-a-bobs contributed by the peripatetic former councilman and undefeated fifty-fifty drawing ticket salesman, Steve Hadzinski–complete with tassels and red & gold color scheme, family pictures–Mom. Dad–what a pair, an antique sewing basket that I picked up at an auction (I’d pick up another one ,if I ever ran across it–there are cool things inside, like needles and darning eggs…which I have actually used.). There’s a carved wooden ornament from Joe Leonard’s Emporium, a radio that hasn’t worked since the electronic gremlins in the house got ahold of it , and there are noises coming from behind the wall that would seem to indicate that some creatures–not bats, I hope–have decided that this is a “warming location” supplied by municipal authorities (Not me, that’s for sure. I’m looking for pest removal practitioners.). And there is a child-size violin leaning in the corner…in a case that looks like the child used it to play hockey.

What kind of “style, personality, texture, color, interest, warmth, inspiration and vitality” does this convey, anyhow? And I haven’t even got to the shelves that have more books on them–more “stuff” too. Those are a story–or two– for another day. Maybe I could palm off the two hp ink cartridges that are not the right size for my printer to open up some space…or the stack of OFA’s sitting here for ready reference. I’m just getting started; more coming up when I finish dusting.

Iva Walker

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