I knew that I misplaced something.

The Associated Press recently reported that nine—count ‘em, NINE—brains had been found alongside a railroad track near Gouverneur, northern New York state.  Authorities said not to worry. Well, I won’t but it seems like there might be someone out there who is not ABLE to worry because the mechanism is missing.

Anyway, the found objects are believed to have been part of a collection for educational or scientific purposes.  Pretty cavalier treatment of your research materials, if you ask me.  Criminal activity is not suspected.  Oh, really?  Nobody called in the local station with a report of missing brains?

“Officer, I’d like to report some stolen brains.”

“Right.  When did you first notice the theft?  Any distinguishing features?”

People who deal with the public on a regular basis might be thinking, “I seen this happen more than once.”

The brains were discovered on a street (Eeeew) near railroad tracks in the town; a local veterinarian determined that the  brains were from dogs or sheep and at least one had been professionally removed and preserved in formaldehyde.  What about the others?  One shudders to think.

The capper?  The article said that “Mishaps(sic) (??!??) with preserved brains are not uncommon.”   It cited an episode last year at the University of Texas in Austin where dozens of brains stored in jars of formaldehyde, intended for teaching and research, had been reported missing but were actually destroyed in 2002.  Left by the railroad tracks, maybe?

Iva Walker

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Anton Albert Photography