I recently asked a friend whos wife passed several years ago; “when do the tears stop” he said I’ll let you know! I am resolved to the fact that the rain in my heart will never end; I can’t believe it is two years since I lost the love of my life! I make the best of every day believing God still has a plan for me!
My son asked if I had a “medical emergency key fob”? I do I said but that doesn’t mean I will actualy use it! He said you best go talk to your Priest. I spoke to my Pastor who summuned me into his office; he wanted to know if I was depressed or suicidal; I am not! He explained that as Catholics we are to sustain life and calling EMS would be prudent.
I will make an attempt to push the panic button should I suffer from chest pains or another stroke, however I will make certain my DNR (Do Not Resuscitate) paperwork is on file and up to date with CCF and UH Hospitals. My sons have been given strict instructions to be my advocates should doctors try to artificially prolong my life! As Catholics our goal is to get to Heaven and this life on earth is just the launch point and if I do make it there I won’t care about the launch date!
Last winter when cat and I spent two month in the Florida Keys being beach Bumbs I read 9 books, one of those was “Appointments with Heaven” by Dr. Reggie Anderson! Dr. Anderson is a ER physician and also the Chief Physician for 3 geriatric end of life facilities so death is a daily reality; he has been a witness to many of his patients departing this earth. He relates stories of his patients last hours of life and their discussions of what they were seeing just before they departed.
Dr. Anderson writes in depth of his experience holding many of his patients hands while they departed and the happy look and smiles on their faces! He also emphasizes the smell of citrus and lavender as a slight breeze swept the room as their souls left their bodies and the heart monitors flat lined affirming their passing!
After reading this book, not only am I not afraid to die; I am looking a bit forward to that day! Living a celibate life can be difficult especially since my life was nearly perfect before loosing my wife and soulmate; I can’t wait to meet her again in Paradise!
I will continue to live life to the fullest hoping it doesn’t drag on reaching an intolerable point. I would prefer to go out dancing not wasting away in some bed!
