Don’t Look Now
Don’t look now, but the crazy stuff is still out there…and I don’t mean snow. That fickle pair, Punxsutawney Phil and Buckeye Chuck have predicted six more weeks of winter, so it’s pretty “old hat” by now ( a phrase that has transitioned from meaning something fairly pornographic in the 1700’s to just being considered a slangy way of...
SCORE !
Well , it’s not just about football, ya know. Or volleyball or baseball or cross country or golf or soccer or any of those sports where you get all sweaty. Much more refined than THAT. Specifically, it’s the Sinquefield Cup Chess Tournament. Held this last week in St. Louis, MO, the event saw a stunning performance by Fabiano Caruana, a...
Wild Hikes
Well, actually, it wasn’t all that wild but it definitely was interesting and fun. The Portage County Park District is offering opportunities to scope out some of the features of the newly-funded (THANK YOU, VOTERS)county parks with knowledgeable and entertaining volunteer naturalists (or one, at least, Thank you, Joe) to get a good look at just what’s out there. ...
And We’re Off!
Most recent R-C bulletin claims that the Old Farmer’s Almanac is predicting a very cold winter for much of the country. I have not got my 2022 copy yet, but it’s on my list to check out. As usual, there will, no doubt, be variations by specific locales, but I’m getting my woolies in order, just in case. Could...
Cats Up To No Good
Well, it’s finally here! My sure-fire, brass-bound, copper-bottomed, iron-clad, nickel-plated, sterling silver, gold standard (Had enough of the metallics?) opportunity to live in the manner to which I’d like to become accustomed has arrived. Yes! Reading through one of my weekly newsmagazine—appropriately enough named The Week—I came across an item about an entrepreneur, Lainey Morse, in Oregon who...
A Load Off My Mind
Well, that’s a load off my mind! There was a piece in the AB-J and there have been subsequent mentions on NPR and even online about the possibility of a new “snack sensation” to be known as “lady Doritos”. Apparently, a clueless CEO at overeating icon, Pepsico, said in a podcast that women, unlike men, don’t like to lick their...
A Fungus Among Us
The computer strikes again! Here I am typing away at my keyboard-in-the-corner, writing what I’m hoping will be more-or-less reproduced below and—WHAM! It all disappeared. Gone! Gone! Nowhere to be found(Not that I could find it anyway, technological klutz that I am). Nearly a page of deathless prose lost into the ether of cyberspace. What’s REALLY irritating about it...
Apocalypse?
Latest signs of the Apocalypse : O.K., so I’m listening to the radio, some story on economics and financial trends and I hear the money guru on there talking about the latest thing in supermarkets is cupholders in the supermarket carts, sometimes known as “buggies”. And I’m thinking, “What? We need cupholders to circulate around the grocery aisles? Refreshment is...
It Must Be Spring!
Must be Spring, the litterbugs are out in their cars—at least I assume they’re not the type to be out walking to enjoy the benefits of nature—and they’re pitching trash out of the windows of said vehicles. I picked up, I think it was, six cans on my way around the village in the morning. ( This is all...
Requiscat in pace…I guess
All of you Latin scholars out there no doubt recognized that phrase, often abbreviated as R.I.P. and translated as Rest in Peace. Well, it’s had an outbreak here at the ranch; our feline population has undergone some major changes. Boy, has it ever. First off, Ruffian, of the inside cat contingent, took off one day and could not be persuaded...
Vegan Bar-B-Que
Once, many years ago, I ran across a book with the title, Hollywood Is A Kosher Nutburger. I think that I read it but who knows. At any rate, it struck me that it was a fine shorthand for “This place is nuts!” Well, the news lately—internet, the comics, the news pages, magazines—all of it, is proof that while time...
Old Farmers Almanac
I love the Old Farmer’s Almanac…I don’t necessarily take it as gospel but I do love the miscellany of STUFF that is in it. It is a veritable FOUNT of KNOWLEDGE of various off-beat and semi-useful pieces of information. I say semi-useful because some of the wisdom that this publication imparts, I would rather not have to actually have...
Parks and Trees…
Well...isn’t April –now that we’ve finally got some weather that resemble Spring—just the greenest month! We’ve got Earth Day. We’ve got Arbor Day. We’ve got Happy Birthday for the National Park System (which will actually be running all year to mark the centennial of the founding of the NPS in 1916...by President Woodrow Wilson, no less—at the direction of...
Okay, how do I add a title?
One of the great mysteries of the digital age, as far as I am concerned. Actually, it is a question followed by another : What do I do to send it off, if it has no title? I went to the very informative session at the PCDL—there are more to come, I hope—with a class or two from the...
Spoiler Alert
This is about the Portage County Park District, first in what will probably be a series of rants. Portage County DOES HAVE a park district. CATCH : Over 800 A of the land comprising the district are currently inaccessible because of a lack of funds. The budget has been severely cut, with the 2014 revenues projected to be only $99,500...
A Rash of Trash
Spring having sprung and all that, could I comment upon the sad indication that numerous persons hereabouts in the area are taking the opportunity to come down with a bad case of illiteracy? I am referring to the piles of stuff—junk would be a more accurate description but I’m attempting to be kind—that are appearing outside the various...
Take Up A New Hobby
So here’s the thing…. We need readers and scorekeepers for the Garfield QuizMasters to go out to vanquish our intellectual foes in upcoming Academic Challenge competitions. Do I see any volunteers? Really, the hardest part is getting up EARLY on a Saturday morning to go ride a bus to the designated venue for the tournaments. Of course, riding in a...
Excitement!!
Pretty generally, my cats are NOT about excitement. Mostly, they’re about conserving physical resources, i.e., lazing around, with as little movement as possible. Oh sure, there is the occasional wrestling match, when one of the “guys” has to show how tough he is(This is the same one who is afraid to go outside when the door is open; he...
It’s Your Right … Exercise IT!
I’ve been serving as a poll worker for about seven years now and it always makes me proud to see a former student come in to cast a ballot; wish that I’d see even more of them. It used to be a regular thing in the seventh grade to take my classes down to the Precinct A polls on High Street to observe the voting; the poll workers were always helpful and welcoming and happy to explain the procedures to the kids. Pity we can’t do stuff like that anymore.
Weekend Travels
Well, that train left the station without me aboard. I had been planning to take the Portage County Farm Tour but it turns out that it was held on Saturday instead of Sunday and my schedule was all wrapped around the Aurora Band show, Thunder Over Aurora, so it was a setback to open the Record on Sunday and see...
Thinking Spring!
Another weekend, another home & garden show! Getting to the John S. and James L. Knight Center in downtown Akron is not real tough, although the predominance of one-way streets does sometimes make it a little tricky if you should happen to miss a turn. There’s a parking garage nearby too but I won’t even tell you how many turns...
Prodigality
O.K., I can definitely understand the viewpoint of the older brother in the Prodigal Son scenario and I have to wonder if there might be a story to be told about how family life went on after the younger brother returned, all contrite and grateful for a crust of bread, let alone the Fatted Calf. The older brother, upon...
Amen for Jacks!
Can I get an “AMEN!” out there? Keep your fingers crossed; Spring may actually be here this time. For the occasion, all of the Jack-in-the-Pulpits at my place have climbed up to their little green lecterns and are giving us palefaces H-E-double toothpicks for all they’re worth. They are in the front where the ferns are finally unfurling, they are...
You Can’t Make This Stuff Up
“Imagine looking professional but feeling like you’re wearing pajamas.”
Weather or Not…
Don’t look now, but it seems to me that as far as weather predictions go, The Old Farmer’s Almanac has crashed and burned in its outlook for February. And in the ruins might be found the remains of a groundhog or two—Punxsutawney Phil and Buckeye Chuck, perhaps—who had stepped out for a snowball fight during the six more...
April Showers
April showers bring May flowers, eh? Somebody alert the providers of floral items. They’re either going to be left twiddling their thumbs because the general public is inundated by blooms of exotic sizes and descriptions springing up along every highway and by-way or their own backyards…or…there will be wholesalers of flowers lurking around corners trying to off-load cheap orchid and...
Spam
Just in time for the summer cooking-out season, the Hormel company has now fessed up to producing ten--that’s 10 different kinds of SPAM. Well, who’d a thunk it? Yes! You have your regular old Spam ( which the company likes to call “Spam Classic”). You have Spam Lite, Spam ”with real Hormel Bacon”, Spam with cheese, hot & spicy Spam...
Citizens Awaken!
It’s that time again – Ohio’s primary voting is scheduled for March 19 this year, so mark your calendars. Ensure your driver’s license is valid, as state-issued identification is now a requirement; electric bills or bank statements won’t suffice. Speaking of state-issued documents, a friendly policeman in Streetsboro alerted me to the expiration of my license plates by approximately...
After The Flood
We think that the second dove has not returned to the boat (Genesis 8:6-14) so we might be able to begin thinking about returning to what passes for normal around here.Normal is a pretty flexible term. It included the annual academic awards program, recognizing just rafts of outstanding individuals, many of the usual suspects who’ve been raising the bar...
Business Plan?!?!?
Awwwrighty-tighty, here’s the plan. Dick, Larry, Casey…. Listen up! What you need to do is put the entire village of Garrettsville under roof, hire all or nearly all of the inhabitants and you can play in the big leagues with the Hartville Hardware which just had its grand opening last weekend. Holy Schmoley! The place needed a map to direct customers to...
