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All of The Nuts

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So I’m walking around town and noticing….

What a lot of nut trees–black walnut, butternut, hickory, etc.–there are around here. Probably has something to do with the number of squirrels there are around here too. You can see the remains of gnawed-upon squirrel party refreshments all over the place. Plenty of gum tree gumballs too, all over the place. Makes lawn mowing interesting. Of course, not all of the nuts are in trees.

And about trees in general…. I’m not exactly a tree-hugger (More like a hearty pat on the back or a vigorous handshake), but I’m all in favor of planting replacements for our arboreal adornments, especially the big ol’ shade trees that make so many of our neighborhoods so distinct and so attractive. The people who built many of these older homes were aware of the advantages of trees as regards heating and cooling. Lots of families planted fruit trees–full-sized, not dwarf or semi-dwarf–to enhance their diets and enjoy the spring blossoms. Kids climbed up into trees (Some fell out of them too, of course.), made tree houses, watched birds build nests, sat in a crotch or two to read. Swings were a given.  Anyone with a newer home might consider, if nothing else, the aesthetic appeal of having trees of various sorts and sizes to set off the appearance of the estate, a frame, as it were. Keep in mind the thought that, “The best time to plant a tree is twenty years ago. The next best time is right now.” There are quite a few trees which have been newly-planted around town (A shout-out to St. Ambrose Church on Freedom Street. Your new replacements on the front lawn are looking good and contributing to the village ambiance.). Some are taking the place of oldies which gave up the ghost aided by some windstorm or other; some were just tired or suffered by being too close to electrical/telephone lines. The real old one on Water St. which used to house a bear in a T-shirt in the gaping hole in its side–later its stump- is gone now but has been replaced by some pretty well-thought-out landscaping of the homes on either side. It’s the thinking part that makes all of the difference.

Lots of folks have put up fences around  portions of their lawns–front, back, side–to keep an eye on either their pets or their children. Quite a number of “invisible fence” set-ups have been spotted too. This is good. Dogs need to be able to get out and get air and exercise just like people. (Ditto for children.) Some of them have even become accustomed to seeing me walk by and don’t feel that they must bark as though the family homestead is being invaded by rude barbarians. Some have not.  Either that or they just don’t like me.  I try to appear to be inoffensive and non-threatening. Doesn’t always work, apparently.

I did get an answer as to the meaning of the initials O U P S on the pavement–Ohio Utilities Protection Service–which made perfect sense, since these cryptic notes were usually in places where new construction was going on. This, presumably, is to avoid having some over-eager digger launch into creating a hole, then hit the neighborhood trunk line for waste water (formerly known as sewage) and causing an unsavory geyser right there in somebody’s back yard. Even planting trees won’t take care of that mishap.

However, I have another question. What kind of funny business is going on downtown at the light? I’m walking by the location somewhere not much south of 6:00 a.m. and there is a pair of mens’ briefs (blue) lying on the sidewalk in a definitely used condition. Been there for several days…moving occasionally, but still not making it to anybody’s laundry.  I hesitate to suspect that it is a comment on my contributions to The Villager, but I guess I’ve had worse. 

Oh, and about not all of the nuts being in trees…. The Week  mentioned the unfortunate error by a vendor on Etsy who had designed a facemask (Everybody’s doing it) featuring Yiddish characters that she thought  represented the solidarity statement, “NYC Strong”. Unfortunately, there was a slight error, something lost in translation, no doubt, and the actual read was, “NYC Crotch”. She said that there was quite a demand for the product.

You betcha!

Then there’s the “Pickles” cartoon of the week : Grampa and grandson Nelson are out in a field and GPa says, “When you get to be my age, you don’t have to take any guff from anybody.” He continues, “I used to take a lot of guff, but not anymore”. Nelson says, “Yeah, me neither.” then he asks, “What is guff, Grandpa?” Grandfather, looking down, replies, “Actually, I think you’re standing in some right now.”

Yup.

Iva Walker

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