This is one happenin’ place, by gummy.
The amazing rehabilitation/renovation/reconstruction/ remodeling of the eyesore on Maple Avenue is heading for the home stretch. It got stripped down to the studs, re-wired, re-plumbed, re-configured (moved purposes of some spaces), re-imagined altogether, to make it–once again–into a livable space. Insulation in the walls, drywall on the walls, addition of a side deck, new steps, replacement of the porch rail & spindles, classy outside paint job, actual glass in the windows (which had been majorly damaged by vandals and critters)–it’s looking like it could be a genuine Victorian showplace when the finish line is crossed. Watch for it to hit the real estate market like a supernova. And while you’re at it, just plain watch it, you never know what some lowlifes might take as a challenge to do some damage. Do not let this happen.
And speaking of happening…. The AB-J and an online news feed both mentioned an interesting event in Elizabethtown, PA. It seems that a pair of maintenance workers in the Mars-Wrigley (You, know, candy & chewing gum) plant there somehow fell into a partially-filled vat of chocolate and had to be rescued. To get them out, emergency workers had to cut a hole in the bottom of the tank. So far, no word on whether either of the brown-drowned persons was injured. They were employees of an outside contractor, not Mars-Wrigley employees, so perhaps were just trying to get the tiniest, little taste of their work, not realizing how slippery chocolate can be when it’s warm. On-line, somebody mentioned an old routine by the Smothers Brothers–which I remembered–that made me chuckle–back then and now. It seems that Tommy, the dense one, fell into a vat of chocolate and was telling his brother, Dickie, how this happened and how he got out of the big, brown mess. They went back and forth, as they always did, with Dickie repeatedly asking Tommy just how he got out of the vat of chocolate; Tommy mumbled and fudged around about how he had managed this (In between questions, the two of them sang some sort of folk-song-y refrain, but always came back to the question, “Tommy, how did you get out of the vat of chocolate?”). Finally, Tommy sang a verse on his own and it went, “I yelled ‘FIRE’ when I fell into the chocolate. I yelled ‘FIRE’ when I fell into the chocolate.” At this point Dickie comes in with the same tune but with another question, which was, “Why’d you yell ‘FIRE’ when you fell into the chocolate?” Then Tommy–with considerable logic on his side, replied, “I yelled ‘FIRE’ when I fell into the chocolate, because who’s going to come if I just yell, ‘CHOCOLATE ? Then they finished off with the folks-y refrain, “Lolly too-dum, Lolly too-dum day!”
In any case, what a way to go, in a vat of chocolate. Bet it’s like what they always tell you about quicksand : don’t struggle, lie back and swim to safety. Since chocolate is so much denser than water, you ought to be able to float, if you could just keep your wits about you, but maybe not easy when you’re doing a Mars bar imitation and being covered all over from head to toe. Covered all over with (oops. Wrong folk song.)
SummerFest is on the way. Be sure your calendar is marked for the “Out of This World” G-Ville extravaganza, featuring, among other things, T-shirts with glow-in-the-dark stuff in the front.
That way, you’ll stand out after the fireworks.
Here’s a quote to consider: “Almost anything will work again if you just unplug it for a few minutes–including you.” Anne Lamott
Keep watching this space : The James A. Garfield Historical Society has inveigled me into having my humble dwelling on this year’s Christmas Walk. You will, no doubt, get all of the “down & dirty” details of what’s going to be going on here. And I do mean “dirty”…the “down” part will be no great shakes, but I can do “dirty” to a fare-thee-well–professional-grade. See, I’ve got my stuff–memorabilia dating back to when I first got into the teaching racket, and virtually every year since then–and I’ve got Ma’s stuff that we’ve been cleaning out the house, and some of the things Mom had stashed away were things that belonged to Grandma–I recognized some kitchen items, not to mention antiques from the other side of the family tree. Good heavens! It’s going to take a U-Haul and a storage unit somewhere to get to the base layer. Have to sort books! Have to file/pitch some personal correspondence from people whose mail I saved so as to have their address…and now they’ve moved. I need one of those celebrity make-overs. Is Antiques Road Show taking applicants? I’m antique.
