And about the other chicks….
The Sports Illustrated “swimsuit issue” recently came. A subscriber may choose to skip that issue—for ethical reasons or whatever—but I choose not to (I have no ethics that tender anyway) because I send it to my brother-in-law, a nurse and a fireman, both at once, who then is able to celebrate his birthday with the guys down at the fire station. It’s not exactly recycling, but close enough.
Anyway, looking through the magazine, I found quite a few entertaining things—not all of them intentional, I’m sure. First of all, each of the picture pages has, of course, beautifully laid-out photos of one or more rather pneumatic young women posed in mostly tropical settings–surf, palms sunshine, etc.—mostly in vanishingly small bathing suits. Occasionally, they skip that last part. If they are in bathing suits, the designer/manufacturer of the garment (if , indeed, it can be so designated) is listed in addition to the name of the young woman and other pertinent personal information (That’s if you consider make-up and jewelry—mostly earrings and body chains [?]—pertinent info). Just out of curiosity, I wrote many of these designers down. Some of them were clearly going for some kind of message or joke; others were just “out there”. Here’s a partial list : Agent Provocateur, Toxic Sadie Swimwear, Ola Vide, Beach Bunny Swimwear, Charmosa Swimwear, Jaded London, Indah Clothing, Areyouami, Teenyb Bikini Couture, Bond-eye Swim, Skimpy Swimwear (the truth, at last),Lybethras Swimwear, Kulanis Kinis, Divamp Couture, Kailani, Haus of Pinklemonade, Kopper & Zink, Nudwear by Simone Tobias, Dolcessa, Lola & Lamar, Mikoh, Aerie, Blue Life Swim, Andi Bagus, Cantik Swimwear, D.Bleu Dazzled, Iztali Swim, Milkbaby Bikini by Cat Thordarson, Rebecca for Born 4Bikinis, Inc. Swim, Beijobaby, and , inevitably, Sports Illustrated Swim. How’d you like them apples? Actually, appearances were much closer to grapefruit (or watermelon!) when you come right down to it. One page that made me chuckle aloud featured a very attractive blonde draped in a net. You know, a net, made of goldish cord knotted in two-inch squares, draped around her. But there appeared to be a sort of neckline and armholes—not to be confused with the body chain also hanging around, that had a separate designer/artisan listed on the page as well. The model’s name was shown, her make-up artist got credit, her jewelry was credited, but nowhere did it say “swimsuit”. There was no swimsuit, as such, but what the page did give credit for was a “dress”. Apparently, the artfully arranged net—with neckline and armholes—was to be considered an item of apparel in the same category as the “Sunday-go-to-meeting outfit that your granny wore to church. Not MY granny, I’ll tell you. Whooeee!
I’m hoping that the guys in the firehouse are enjoying this issue, but I’m betting that not many of them will be spotting “dresses” like that one in the other half of their walk-in closets. Just a guess.
I did also notice that the magazine was making an effort to be more “diverse”. More women of color and ethnic antecedents not necessarily northern European, there were a couple of rather well-upholstered young ladies, much closer to normal-size females. There was even an individual whose right leg was represented by a prosthesis, who was clearly quite athletic as well as good-looking. Tan lines and sand could be glimpsed, ALMOST as they would be at anybody’s beach party. Don’t see that stuff at any pools around here. Not many body chains either. Who’s going to start that trend?
The next issues of Sports Illustrated were back to opinions on who’s going first in the football lottery, various individuals in various sports in the Pyeongchang Olympics—the usual. No body chains.
Here on the home front—no beach, no palms no surf—we have witnessed a classic case of “March comes in like a lion”. What a wowser of a weather event. Thursday was non-stop rain; I could hear the roar of water going over the dam down below my back yard and—big time—going over the Boardwalk downtown. Had to run from the car to about anyplace that I went, in town or out. By evening, the temperature was dropping and by about eight o’clock, somebody looked out of the door at a meeting I attended and said, “It’s snowing!” By morning, when I looked out the door then stepped onto the porch to feed the porch kitties(who were enjoying their heated kitty kondos), it was amazing. The morning walk required a little more time to complete. Four-to-six? Six-to-eight? Plenty o’ snow, in any case. I went out to refill the bird feeders, since the birds (aided and abetted by squirrels)had pretty well cleaned them out but I was figuring that they could jolly-well start finding their own meals. No little feathered friends were finding the buffet line under that white blanket, so I felt guilty and served up what was left of the seeds down in the basement. This may finally be the end of the free lunch.
How are the maple cookers doing out there? This weather must be as confusing to the sap-tappers as it is to the maple trees…not to mention the worms; they were out all over the place before this all fell on us but they’re wormsicles now, I’ll bet.
So much for the atmospheric update. Next time we’ll do an update on the indoor cats, who are doing their best to find some new piece of mischief to do every day. No body chains on them.
