Don’t you just every so often look out the window or open the door or read the weather forecast and feel like the little boy on the internet the other day? The little guy must have been about four years old, bundled up to a fare-thee-well in mittens, hat , snowsuit and he was out shoveling snow, clearing the sidewalk or something, the snow was close to knee-high on him, the snow shovel was about as big as he could handle and the flurries were still swirling around. That’s the picture on the video. The sound portion was a hoot.
The kid scrapes away a few times, utters a loud, heart-felt sigh—”Aaaugh!” — looks around at the task yet before him, puts his hands on the handle of the shovel, looks up at the sky and shouts, “Jesus, make it warm!”
The kid’s been to Sunday School…not science class.
Or…for variety of a different sort, there was a video of a principal and teacher at a school –Stephens Elementary–in Kentucky doing a number on your ordinary school cancellation notification call. They SANG the information –“We just got the call, breaking news. School is closed! School is closed! Sorry, parents, for another day. Watch out for frost-biting! Very, very frightening! School is cancelled. School is cancelled! Because it’s cold. So everyone grab a Snuggie. And watch TV”—to the tune of the “Bohemian Rhapsody” by Queen. Totally laughable, especially the falsetto riffs.
Ball’s in your court, Jen Mulhern…Ted Lysiak…Craig Dlugokecki. Let’s hear it.
The cats, the ones who are part-time outdoor cats, are getting antsy (as if they were ever anything else) and even the indoor ones are looking longingly out the windows (Hoping that the others would just get the heck out, probably) and they’re all coming up with new and interesting divertissements to pass the time. One of these involved trying to drink the water from the dishes containing the two little primroses that I picked up at the Home Depot to invoke a more rapid return of Spring, or, at least, the appearance of color somewhere around here. They (the cats) weren’t very good at it, so the water spilled and got under the glass top of the black walnut buffet. This required removal of the two lamps, the table runner, the calendar, the piles of papers and a Christmas present still sitting there adding to the décor. Old English cleaner and polish to the rescue! The whole thing has a lemon fragrance now. The cats don’t go there any more.
Not one of them has volunteered to check out whatever it is that’s making funny noises behind the panel blocking off the fireplace. There’s scrabbling and scratching and my bet is that the bat crowd that occasionally visits here has taken up winter quarters in the chimney and is complaining about the tacky accommodations. Find your own Motel 6, I say. I don’t want to hear about it. I especially don’t want to come home or wake up or look around and see some frost-tipped little critter flapping through the house. What kind of insect repast are they expecting to find when the temperatures have been low enough to freeze the spots off a brass ladybug? My usual approach is to open the doors wide and hope that Die Fledermaus will get the hint that the welcome mat has been taken up and they should get the heck out.(If they’re all about echolocation, why don’t they take off through the open door instead of flying aimlessly around the living room or hanging in the drapes?) Anyway, opening the doors is NOT really an option right now. My response to these suspicions has been to run black duct tape around and over the gap between the panel and the woodwork. I’m hoping that they get the hint that they’re NOT invited in, not for tea, not for anything. Decorators don’t know the half of what makes up household decisions.
Then, of course, the snow is still a better weather event than they’re having in Great Britain…I think. There, the rain has been falling…and falling…and falling…and…well, you get the idea. Worst rain episode since they began keeping records in 1766—going on three hundred years! Whoa! Flooding all over the place. Cows swimming to safety. Homes abandoned. Look out Big Ben!
Contrariwise, in Australia the folks have had some of the hottest temperatures in decades—it’s summer there right now , and what a summer! Players in the tennis competition, the Australian Open, were dropping right and left, even the judges and referees were about wiped out by the amazing heat. And our West Coast—California, specifically—is dealing with a devastating drought. Climate change…Ya think?
Or you could simply head to the Westminster Kennel Club this week to catch the pooch parade in what they call “the second-oldest sporting event in the United States”( no mention of what the oldest is). “Mixed breed” dogs(mutts) will be competing in the agility events this year (Mercy! The next thing you know, some “Schnoodle” or “Puggle” will be showing up and acting as good as anybody). They’ve allowed in –officially—a Rat Terrier, a Chinook( sounds like a sled dog to me) and the Podengo Pequeno(It’s Portuguese, small, hairy and cute). It’s a dog’s life