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With summer almost here and the weather taking a turn for the better, I can’t help but think about the various ways to spend a summer. Every year around this time I secretly make a wish to be transported to a country music video with the laid back parties, the girls who don’t seem to sweat and the non-existent bugs. Sadly though, my life is not a Little Big Town song and I live in sticky, buggy Ohio. Groan.  Fear not, we are able to leave this state and I am here to help with your travel plans! Luckily I have a good amount of spare time and conducted a very unscientific study based upon my own opinions and experiences to help guide you away from making the wrong choice for your next vacay. See below for reviews of three popular vacation choices.

Disney World: A perpetually popular choice filled with fun, food and creepy characters that only wave but never speak. What’s up with that? If you’re planning on going to DW this summer DO NOT go in August…you will be miserable and your kids will grow up resenting you. Trust me. Furthermore, if you do not have kids why would you want to go? There are other resorts that are adults only and offer unlimited food and drinks. Go there. To those traveling with kids and want to numb the pain, Disney World does serve alcohol. Just ask and a non-verbal Mickey Mouse will point (wave) you in the right direction. Drink up!

Cruises.  Superb choice for those of you who just want to relax and sip a few Pina Coladas. In fact if you’re the type of person who would be content with lying in the sun, having your meals cooked for you, enjoying nightly world-class entertainment and being able to swim with dolphins or parasail over the ocean then cruising is for you! However, if you’re the type of traveler who likes to sleep late and not be constrained by time then don’t be so quick to book that cabin. When the ship says they leave at 3:00, they leave at 3:00 with or without you. I’ve never missed a boat but I’ve come close (hey, it’s hard to walk away from the duty-free stores!). Should you miss your ship then too bad for you! Good luck getting to the next port sans extra money, passport or any means of contacting the outside world but thanks for the extra entertainment you  provided by flailing your arms and screaming at the ship to “STOP STOP STOP”. Bye, see you in Barbados!

Camping: A solid pick for those of you who want to be at one with nature for your time off. Camping is nice because you can customize your trip and be as Paul Bunyan-like as you chose. With that in mind, your entire vacation will still be outdoors and you still have to sleep on the ground shielded by thin nylon  (hope it doesn’t rain), cook all of your meals and, if modest, go without bathing until you get home. If that sounds like fun, by all means set up camp and have at it. While you’re there, and I assume, making s’mores, I like my marshmallows slightly burned. Thank you in advance.

Whichever vacation you chose you’re sure to have an awesome time…if you can remember it (I’m looking at you, Caribbean Cruise 2012). Keep me posted on your plans!

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Shelby is a graduate of The Ohio State University where she studied Communications. She currently works as a legal assistant so that she may fund her extreme shopping addiction. Shelby enjoys writing, staying up-to-date on the latest pop culture news, travelling, baking (not cooking; she cannot cook), and figuring out a way to break into the Public Relations field even if it kills her.

 
Shelby is a graduate of The Ohio State University where she studied Communications. She currently works as a legal assistant so that she may fund her extreme shopping addiction. Shelby enjoys writing, staying up-to-date on the latest pop culture news, travelling, baking (not cooking; she cannot cook), and figuring out a way to break into the Public Relations field even if it kills her.