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No Pun Intended

There are funny things out there, folks. A radio program the other day had on it a gentleman who had just had a new book published; its title was : The Pun Also Rises… a great play on words itself.  I’ll have to get it and treat you to some real groaners.  The late, great Donn Olin would have loved it.
Examples :
Atheism is a non-prophet belief system.
A ham walks out of the hospital; the doctors declare, “He’s cured!”
Camping is intense.
You can tune a guitar but you can’t tuna fish…unless, of course, you play bass.

I can hear you out there.

I even found out that there are numerous types of puns : Homophonic (based mostly on words that sound alike), Homographic (work better in printed form, based on similar spellings), Homonymic ( ometimes called polysemic) , Compound, Recursive, Graphological, Morphological…probably more, and there are even architectural puns–wonder what they look like.  Puns are also known as  paronomia–word play involving two or more meanings; two sets of ideas are expressed through only one set of words.  Shakespeare did them : “now is the winter of our discontent made glorious summer by this son of York.” (Richard III).  Plautus did them in Latin.  Oscar Wilde turned a phrase or two; George Carlin was good at them (We won’t even mention the Seven Words).  The Maya did hieroglyphic puns in their stone carvings.  Wyborowa Vodka  advertised : “Enjoyed for centuries straight”  A wine and spirits business named itself The Planet of the Grapes.
Where do mathematicians go on weekends?  To Moebius strip clubs.
Being in politics is just like golf; you are trapped in one bad lie after another.
The lesser of two weevils  (Make up your own on that)
How about — Newspaper headline : Hole discovered in nudist camp fence. Police are looking into it.

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