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Christmas Shopping

Published on December 23, 2011

I sure hope that I get the hang of this “Christmas shopping” thing soon. I always think that I will get a head start on it –August, say–and have gifts all wrapped and ready, tucked away somewhere (Attic? Basement?) so that the holiday rush will be a thing of the past. Well, so far what’s passed is the time for getting all of this done…without a whole lot to show for it. I have checked out and purchased a fair amount of stuff locally and am still on the lookout for the odd one-of-a-kind item or two (Shaker Tree, anyone? T & B Tools?) but there are some large gaps that are going to need to be filled pretty jolly-well quick or there will be “blood in the saddle”, so to speak.
The big trouble is that a very high percentage of the items that now strike me as being just the perfect thing for so-and-so or what’s-er-name turn out to be things that should have been ordered or purchased several whiles ago. Time to go to Plan B…or C…or whatever. Unfortunately, those plans appear to be a bit hazy too.
“Re-gifting”, while tempting, isn’t really a likely option in most situations…number one, because I’m not really positive who was the original gifter or, number two, I really like the item but haven’t quite figured out what to do with it or where to put it, or, number three, the color is just NOT going to fit just anywhere. Perhaps I should take a cue from the Rotarians, who have a White Elephant gift exchange, wherein they drag out idiosyncratic curios from the back of their closets or sale racks at some low-end Half Dollar Store, wrap this dross prettily and try to inveigle some unsuspecting counterpart into getting stuck with it…at least until the next exchange…and better wrapping. There are some exchanges where the same utterly ridiculous heirloom has been going back and forth for decades–sort of like fruitcake.
Sometimes getting out of town will work–just for new ideas, like reading up on the Neiman-Marcus catalog about the offered sequin tank tunic (Been there, done that), the ten Hacker-Craft speedboats or Ferrari FF models, the $75,000 luxury yurt(Don’t go for any yurt unless it’s a luxury model; Kazakhs and Kyrgyz tribes use them in Mongolia and Siberia–it’s about sheepskin and/or felt )–keeping in mind that $5ooo of your yurt money will go to the Breast Cancer Research Foundation (Check out the shape). You could also purchase a $1 million “dancing fountain or get a $5000 private tasting of Johnny Walker (No relation. My WCTU ancestors would be appalled.) or a custom-designed library with seating, shelving, objets d’ art, floor and wall-covering and 250 selected books in your preferred genre. That one will also get you a donation to First Book, a non-profit organization devoted to getting books into the hands and homes of disadvantaged children and youth. N-M aims to offer “once-in-a-lifetime experiences that evoke beauty, culinary perfection and whimsy.” Well,…me too.
So, I did head out of town, to an up-scale shopping mecca. Did I see solutions to my shopping dilemma? Did I see perfect gifts for all and sundry on my list–which I made and checked MORE than twice–clutched in my hot little hand? Alas, no!
I saw one chick in a spiffy car boppin’ out on some sort of in-car music system…didn’t appear to be Christmas carols, but she was really getting into the tunes.
I saw women wearing 4-5-inch heels walking around on pavement in shoes that were simply astounding. Don’t their toes get cold? Don’t their calves cramp up? Don’t they occasionally pitch forward into the Salvation Army kettles? Goodness gracious! Shopping requires track shoes and arch supports, not to mention coats and jackets with many pockets.
I saw children who should have been at home being dragged past things that they wanted but couldn’t have, past things that they didn’t want anyway, past other kids who were being disgruntled at the top of their lungs. They were not enjoying the sight-seeing. They were not enjoying much of anything. There were other kids clinging and crying, still others whining and wheedling, and the really upset ones were screaming like banshees. Not inspiring.
BUT….
The music is still out there. The red kettles are still filling (Somebody put in gold coins; another somebody dropped in a diamond; others gave what they could). The People Tree and Shop-with-a Cop and Fill-a-Cruiser and such programs are still working their magic…quiet magic, but magic all the same. Same old tunes, new hearts to hear them. Hallelujah!
Have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year

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